Stronger
by artemis-nz
Summary: In the first stage of getting to know Yami, Yuugi doubts his own strength. Yami/Yuugi.


Yuugi collapsed onto the bed, tired but knowing that he would be unable to sleep - at least for now. Only weeks ago it would have been all too easy to put things from his mind and rest; now, it was all he could do to think calmly, one thing at a time so as to remain in control. Open-eyed, he stared at the ceiling and attempted to slow his breathing.

He did not resent the Spirit - Yami, he had told Yuugi to call him - for having to share Yuugi's own body. Sometimes he even welcomed it, although he often felt guilty about the things that Yami did for him. It had not been Yuugi who had beaten a certain bully at his own game, even though to all appearances this was exactly what had happened. It had not been Yuugi, either, that had suddenly been on another winning streak, although this, too, had been what others had seen.

And yet, Yuugi was not ready to share all with Yami. His thoughts remained his own, and while Yuugi was sure that Yami could force his way inside Yuugi's head if he had really wanted to, he also knew that Yami, while fierce, was also respectful. He would not trespass into Yuugi's mind if he could help it, and for someone who shared a body with another was remarkably good at disappearing. He had vanished for days once, only returning at Yuugi's request and seeming surprised that Yuugi had missed him - and even more surprised that Yuugi had been... well, concerned.

_"I did not wish to worry you, aibou", he said in that solemn voice that Yuugi was getting used to. "I only thought to give you some time to yourself. I do not want to intrude."_

_"You don't intrude - and I don't want you to bother you or anything", Yuugi added hastily. "You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to-" He blushed, then, because even to his own ears his voice sounded uncertain. Perhaps Yami thought he was weak, or even worse, dependant. The thought flashed across his mind before he could stop it, and he looked down at the floor, now afraid that Yami had heard it for himself. If Yami had, however, he didn't say anything - just gave a reassuring, if brief smile, and disappeared._

Was he dependant, though? That conversation had happened two weeks ago now, yet Yuugi had been unable to put it from his mind. There was of course no doubt that Yami had a strong, often intimidating personality. There was a distinct aura about him that Yuugi had been wary of at first; not because Yuugi did not trust this Spirit (on the contrary, he had felt an immediate bond that he was unable to explain, least of all to himself), but because he felt that this was a relationship which he wanted so strongly to cultivate. Sometimes he felt that if he made one wrong move - offended this Spirit, somehow, or else simply did not measure up to unspoken expectations of character - everything would be gone in a flash, as abruptly as Yami himself could disappear back into the Puzzle which hung constantly around Yuugi's neck.

That was intriguing, too - the way in which Yami seemed able to appear and disappear at will, particularly since he did not have a body, as such, of his own. It had been something that Yuugi had asked about almost immediately, and Yami had frowned, not in anger but in concentration, as if trying to remember something.

_"I don't understand quite how it works", he admitted. "I do know that this... form I appear as is only a projection of sorts. It may not even be my true body - I cannot remember. What I used to look like, who I was, when and where I was... I don't recall." A shadow passed over his face and was quickly gone again, almost before Yuugi realised it. "I think it must be very close, however", Yami continued. "It feels right, natural. I believe that in essence I am who I once was, even if I am unsure of the past. This projection is just that; a kind of thought-form that mirrors the few impressions I have retained. It is not a true body, of course; it is something unsubstantial. Thus I can choose to project this form, or not, as I will it."_

_"But you've shown yourself like that before in front of other people, and only I can see you."_

_"That is because my projection is linked with me, and I am linked solely with you for the time being. As long as we share this body, only you can see and hear me unless our minds switch positions and you allow me to direct your body. The changes in the body itself are even then subtle enough that few people may be able to detect any change at all."_

_"I see..."_

_"Aibou?" His tone changed and became something softer, less formal. "Do you wish it otherwise? You know I would not harm you or willingly do anything against your will. I may be trapped within your body but that does not mean you must give up your own freedoms."_

_Yuugi shook his head, bewildered. He was not used to hearing Yami talk like this. "I don't really understand. I haven't given up anything, have I?"_

_Yami shrugged vaguely, giving Yuugi the impression that there were things he refrained from saying. "Perhaps not. But the time may come... in any case, do not think that my own motives should come before yours. It is your body, to do with what you will. And should you ever wish it, I could go. While it is true that my soul is linked to the Puzzle and now to you, I am able to make myself scarce. It's possible, for example, to retreat far back inside so that you yourself would not even sense-"_

_"No!" Now Yami looked surprised, and with good reason. It wasn't often that Yuugi sounded to vehement. "That is... what I mean is... you should stay. I don't mind you being here. I like it." And his face was now so red that he was sure Yami would comment on it. But again, Yami was silent, and soon after disappeared once more. Yuugi had learned not to question these sudden exits which Yami seemed so fond of._

And still the thought would not cease its grip from Yuugi's mind. Was his bond with Yami such that he had grown dependant on the Spirit? Was Yuugi even now growing ever closer, so that he'd be unable to fight for himself when the time came? And Yami, who was so astute when it came to people and their true, hidden thoughts and feelings... did he already know what was happening? Perhaps he had known for some time and was now realising what sort of person his host really was - someone who always needed someone else around to stick up for him whenever he got into trouble. Someone who would never really be his own person, but rather only someone who relied constantly on others to get ahead. Yuugi was certain that if Yami did know what was happening, he would be disgusted. Anyone who had met the Spirit - whether they knew it or not - knew that Yami was someone who prized qualities of independence, strength, leadership. Perhaps the very things which Yuugi himself had none of. And perhaps that was why Yami kept to himself so often - because in truth Yami had found the real Yuugi and did not want to associate with someone so obviously inadequate when compared-

"I close my mind to your thoughts out of respect, aibou, but it is hard not to hear them when you shout them like that."

Yuugi jumped, and sure enough Yami chose that moment to materialise in front of him, leaning over the bed so that Yuugi could see him clearly in the darkening room.

Utterly unsure of what to say, Yuugi said the first thought that came to mind. "I was shouting."

"Not out loud. But the more powerful your thoughts, the more likely I am to hear them. Perhaps you should have told me of them yourself."

Out of all the embarrassing situations that Yuugi had found himself in, this was by far the worst. Now Yami knew that Yuugi knew, and then would come the inevitable action - a sever of the ties that Yuugi had gripped so tightly to. He was certain that Yami would not suffer himself to be close to Yuugi now, for all he was bonded to the Puzzle.

"Don't be so sure."

Yuugi panicked. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't. But I heard it anyway. And you are wrong. Forgive me, aibou, but sometimes it is not possible to block out everything. I could not help but overhear, and now that I have heard it, it cannot be taken back."

For all Yami's words, Yuugi instinctively retreated back. He had practiced it many times in the last few days, and now it was as easy as ever - he felt the darkness press in on him for a moment before that too was gone, and all that was left was his mind. It was heard to explain, but it felt to Yuugi a little like being submerged in warm, light-weight water. His mind flowed about him, and inside here he usually felt safe. Now, however, it was a futile attempt at escape. Yami found him quickly; Yuugi more than heard him speak - he saw him, a form that was both a projection and yet a solid one.

_//If you wish to be alone, I will leave. But please, listen first. I wouldn't harm you, you know that. So why do you run from me?//_

His voice seemed to carry so that Yuugi could not only hear it but also sense it, all around him. And to his surprise, the voice was not harsh or forbidding, but warm. Yuugi somehow knew that here, a lie would be sensed immediately. Now that he had made his choice to run and to be found, he would have to answer honestly.

_/I was afraid/_ he admitted. _/I still am afraid. I don't want to be left alone. But I don't want to be weak. I'm afraid I'm weak.../_

Yami replied quickly, his tone questioning but not accusatory. //Is this your own idea you have formed, or an idea that someone else has given which you have chosen to take on?//

_/My own. Ever since... well, that first talk we had. I haven't been able to forget it. Tell me the truth. All this time, have I only been relying on you for everything? I'm not strong like you. I never will be. I'll always just be... but I don't want you to go, either. I don't want to be alone again!/_

_//Is this the true reason, all this time. Did you think I would leave you, aibou? Do you think I could?//_

/What... what do you mean?/

_//Ah. You have not realised, then. It is one of the laws of nature - that when someone nurtures a particularly strong bond with another, that other person must invariably return that bond and take on some responsibility for it. Perhaps then the question should be, am I the one who is becoming dependant on you?//_

Taken aback, Yuugi's disbelief echoed around them both as if he had said something aloud. _/No- that can't be true. You're so much stronger than me, there's no way you'd ever be dependant on anybody. But I'm different... I'm just me. I could never be as strong as you! Not ever./_

His assertion made Yami laugh, and to Yuugi it felt like a rush of heat darting about him. To hear his laugh when he was outside of his mind was something special in itself since Yuugi had heard Yami do so only once before, but to hear it as something he could literally feel as well as physically listen to was almost indescribable. In his mind, the form that was Yami stepped forward and knelt so that he was eye to eye with Yuugi.

_//You are far stronger than you may believe. You underestimate your own potential, I think.//_

His voice washed over Yuugi, completely relaxing him. He felt himself somehow drift away, and when he opened his eyes again the illusion was over. He found himself lying back on his bed and firmly back in his body; it was as if the whole incident had never happened. He looked around, and although it was now completely dark outside his window so that it was difficult to see, he knew Yami was not there. Perhaps it had all been a dream after all, he thought. Wishful thinking that he had fallen asleep to.

_//No. I am here. I will always be here. It's a promise.//_

"A promise..."

_//Yes. But sleep now. You are growing stronger to be able to access your mind like that, but it is tiring at first. Soon you will be able to hold the bridge for longer. This is your proof. A weak person would not be able to access the mind as you can at all. Rest now...//_

So Yuugi closed his eyes again and followed the voice into dream. The promise that he would be stronger - that perhaps he and Yami might grow in strength together - was enough to banish his doubts. There would no doubt be challenges ahead, but for now Yuugi was content. There would be time to grow another day.


End file.
